TIM VANDYKE

 

 

                                     



from FARALLONES

 

 

I.  Estrella

 

When I died

the Colombian government

named a star

after all five of my bullet wounds

 

They called it POINT BLANK

and threw it at me

 

The burn patterns       

 

this star

is covered in white daffodils

 

this star

has fractured my femur

 

this star

has amplified my love of God

as he lives in the madness of his work

 

I love you I said

I love you

            &

I love

the whistle

of the wind

through the holes

in my head

 

the column of my spine

was snapped

but I still love you

and I still feel

like I could walk

if only

you would fuck off

and let me be

a while

 

I said all this

to the Colombian government

while the burn patterns

tore through my brain

 

As I fell to the ground

I could tell

you didn't want me

to talk like that

 

or have a face

so vanished of color

the sun could creep in

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

II.

 

That day of being towards the end

 

that day the knife falls in love

and moans deep

into the wound it makes

 

the knife gazes

at the wound's terminus

 

cuddles up to it

inside its new sheath

 

day of midnight sun

and day of

night without darkness

 

a knife's love will only end

with a body on the floor

 

I don't remember

where I was

when they came to the door

with immense knives

and guns

 

Don't cover the sun I said

there it is        

suspended in the air

do not cover it

 

and they did not cover the sun

and because they did not

the sun still traverses

the length of those plains

 

I said don't cover my head

but they covered my head

so I was restless

with the sun in my eyes

the whole way there

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

III.

 

My prayers were

fertile              

                        to life

 

but now I pray a prayer

from deep inside

the bag

around my head          

 

I pray

to fuck

they take it off

 

big gun fuckers

in ritual procession

with their little phalluses

their steel phalluses     

                        adolescents

in camoflauge             

                        jesus

they leave

such tiny footprints

 

I pray to the plastic

            jesus

bobblehead     

            my body

might dissolve

            before it reaches

climax             

on the rock crags of Farallones

 

I pray

that my face

might know death

through its wounds     

 

that my face

might redeem the landscape

that surrounds my body

 

I pray that my son

might redeem me

from the blood

on the landscape

           

            adolescents

unconscious

 

pray

that my son

finds a blade

when he's older

 

holds it so tight

his enemies have to

cut off his hand

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                      

 

      

 

                                   

 

 


TYPO 21