This Is True — Jonah Winter

The Albanian president is a secret service agent.
The King of Sweden is a secret service agent.
Elizabeth Taylor is a secret service agent.
Mr. Ed – the horse – worked for the CIA and ordered JFK’s assassination.
U.S. horses are fed mind-controlling chemicals.
The CIA controls the supermarkets and detergent.
John H. Hinkley is really Mikhail Barishnakov.
You know all those people in the commercials?
They’re all secret service agents.
When my mother gave birth to me, my father disappeared mysteriously.
The CIA and the KGB invented Saddam Hussein in the spring of 1979 – as a joke.
Groucho Marx and Adolph Hitler invented the Jewish religion in order to assassinate Marlene Dietrich.
Laurel & Hardy started World War I by assassinating Ronald Reagan.
The CIA does time-traveling in a major way.
Doc Severinsen murdered Johnny Carson.

(Everyone in the United States is actually John F. Kennedy.)

Jonah Winter’s first book of poems, Maine, was chosen by David Lehman as the inaugural winner of the Slope Editions’ Book Prize and was published last fall (2002). His second book, Amnesia, won the Field Poetry Prize and is forthcoming this spring (2004) with Oberlin College Press.

Winter currently teaches llama repair at George Mason University.

Typo — Issue Two